Cake Boss

In having one of those wonderful conversations you can only have with a four year old, the idea of making a pretend cake was on the table...but even though my niece proposed making the cake, she had no intention of being the one to do it-

Niece-let: You do it. I can't make a pretend cake; I'm not the boss.

Me: You're not the boss, but you just tell everyone what to do?

Niece-let: Yes.

I Am a Patron of the A.R.T.S.

...the A.R.T.S. being the Addict Relationship Theatre Series as performed by my neighor's renters.

This time, one of their occasional shouting matches took place in the wee hours of the morning. Things quieted down after I banged on the floor with a floor lamp, but I was unable to get back to sleep. *sigh*

Before and After

I agreed to get a makeover, thinking that it would be a fun thing to do, not imagining that I'd find it more uncomfortable than fun. And being the slightly rebellious-type that I am, I should have known that makeovers are not for me.

The trouble began when I didn't want to be bothered with foundation. I'd used the cleansing cream, the facial mask, the moisturizer, the lip exfoliant and the lip cream with no complaints. But I didn't want to apply any foundation--an utterance that brought all kinds of murmurs and consternation. I was a marked woman--one who did not go with the flow.

Under pressure, I agreed to the tinted moisturizer and I felt that the room of fully made up beauty consultants breathed a sigh of relief.

After I was tinted and others were foundation-ed, we were told to go take our "Before" photos. Before photos? Wouldn't the "Before" have been when I walked in...before the cleansing cream, the facial mask, the moisturizer, the lip exfoliant, lip cream and tinted moisturizer? Hmmmm....

After that I submitted to being made over. The make-up artist was puzzled at my less than flawless appearance, but it all made sense when I explained that I had opted for tinted moisturizer and not foundation. She dusted and powdered efficiently. I worried about losing an eyeball when she applied eyeliner, but I survived. At the start she'd asked if I wore makeup regularly because if not, she'd use a lighter touch, since I'd be unaccustomed to seeing myself with a lot of makeup. Honesty, even the lighter touch was too much for me. I was sent to check myself out in the mirror and did ask for more lip color. but overall I was not excited.

All gathered "oohed" and "ahhed" over everyone once they were made over. But one woman felt that I needed a special pep talk. She looked me right in the eyes to tell me how beautiful I was and that she wanted me to believe it too.

Now I know how the game is played...so I did not expect anyone to tell me that I was beautiful without makeup because the point is to either sell makeup or convince "guests" to become beauty consultants themselves. But I was pleased with my looks "Before" and not at all thrilled with my look "After" despite everyone else's amazement at how beautiful I'd suddenly become with the aid of their beauty products.

It's What You Say AND How You Say It

In thinking about the whole 'Dr. Laura Says the N-word'controversy, I am reminded of how much intent matters. So rather than get into a discussion of who can and cannot say the N-word, it is more productive to remember that no one wants to be disrespected, especially not in their own home. The N-word ignites controversy because of its history, but any words can be spoken with sufficient venom and the object of those words will know that they were said to harm and not help.

And where was the woman's husband in all of this. While Dr. Laura, she of the perfectly-tuned funny bone, told the woman she shouldn't enter an interracial marriage unless she had a sense of humor, I'd say you don't want to be married to someone you cannot rely on to take your part when neighbors/relatives seek to make you uncomfortable.